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62. McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Tales Of Erotica: Chuck Norris And Me not sure that this girlfriend would appreciate me sharing these events, instead of using her real name, I m going to refer to her as action star, chuck norris. http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2003/10/10erotica.html

T A L E S O F E R O T I C A : C H U C K N O R R I S A N D M E . BRIAN BIEBER Everyone loves getting turned on. Everyone loves high-kicking martial arts action. So I'm going to recount for you the very first heavy-petting session I engaged in with my first girlfriend when I was sixteen. But because I'm not sure that this girlfriend would appreciate me sharing these events, instead of using her real name, I'm going to refer to her as action star, Chuck Norris. Likewise, any personal details about my ex-girlfriend that might implicate her directly will be changed to indicate achievements earned by Mr. Norris. For example, instead of referring to Madeline as a junior varsity basketball cheerleader, I will refer to her as an international karate champion. And when I say "star of TV's Walker: Texas Ranger" I'll really mean "supporting cast member in a 1996 high school production of Jesus Christ: Superstar." Any references to sexual activities we engaged in will be disguised as martial arts maneuvers or maybe wrestling holds. I won't say Maddie was the first girl I ever French kissed, I'll say something to the effect of, "Chuck Norris kicked me so hard in the mouth I had to have my jaw wired shut." I ran into Chuck three years after we stopped fighting regularly. We were both home from our respective colleges during a holiday break. We went to a movie one night, out to coffee another. Finally, the night before I was to return to school, our mutual animosity got the best of us and a fight broke out in the guest bedroom of my parents' house, where we had been watching Saturday Night Live. We had both trained hard in the previous years and were eager to demonstrate the new moves we had learned. In our eagerness, of course, we disregarded technique and the bout quickly turned into a brawl, our limbs flailing wild, a mess. In this way, this battle was much like our first, but not nearly as sweet.

63. Chuck Norris Flight Simulator chuck norris Flight Simulator. Shit I m pissed off today! I was running chuck the door. It was chuck norris. He looked pissed. I m http://bofh.ntk.net/Chuck_Norris.html

Chuck Norris Flight Simulator Shit I'm pissed off today! I was running Chuck Norris' flight simulator, which is a bit like Chuck Yeager's except that if you pirate it Chuck comes and hunts you down - and there was a knock at the door. Quick as I could I hid the floppy and the crack notes underneath a loose floor tile, rebooted the machine and answered the door. It was Chuck Norris. He looked pissed. "I'm pissed at you" he said, which goes to show I'm a pretty good judge of character when my back's against the wall and the soap's by my feet, but more about that later in the prison series... "I'm pissed at you" he says, which I already told you but didn't want you forgetting - you know like you do when you go to the supermarket and there's ONE thing you just have to get, like a Mrs Mabel Oven Mitt because your old one just won't survive one more time through the jilted lover's nightmare of life and you get there and get all sorts of stuff but STILL FORGET, OR, forget like I do when I've just been introduced to someone at the pub, and they're really good looking and with brains as well, and I've only just been introduced but I forgot her name already and all I can remember is the woman next to her who hates me is Bernice or something. And so I'll go through hell and high water trying to get her name from her, cos I know I'll remember it if I hear it, but I have to stop thinking about it because if I try too hard I won't even remember it if I DO hear it, which is a real turn-off. In the end of course, I'll end up saying something suave and debonnaire' like "Shit, I'm such a suck, I've completely forgotten your name, I think it was cos I was breathing in the fumes off Bernices' armpits" then Bernice will hit me and I'll end up not scoring for the 7000th night in a row.

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Home Arts Celebrities N : Norris, Chuck Search DMOZ-Verzeichnis: All Categories Categories Onlye Links: 10 - May 1984, Volume 3, Number 2 - Chuck Norris Information on the star. http://taekwondotimes.com/10may84.html 97 - October 1997, Volume 17, Number 7 - Chuck Norris Information on the star. http://www.taekwondotimes.com/97oct97.html American Martial Arts Supply Chuck Norris Speed Bag Platform System. http://hand-crafted.com/cat915.html Chuck Norris Information on the star. http://www.nav.cc.tx.us/staff_pages/dana/martial/chuck.htm Chuck Norris Links, stories and pictures. http://shady-acres.com/chuck_n/chucknorris.html Chuck Norris and Walker Fan Club Yahoo! fan club for the actor and show "Walker, Texas Ranger". http://groups.yahoo.com/group/chucknorrisandwalker/ Chuck Norris Karate Studios - Picture Gallery Photos of the star. http://chucknorriskarate.hypermart.net/Gallery.html E! Online News Information on the star. http://aol.eonline.com/News/Items/0,1,2115,00.html E! Online News - Impersonator Wrangles with Chuck Norris Information and links on the star. http://aol.eonline.com/News/Items/0,1,1788,00.html

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Search all of kelkoo Bookmark this page Departments Home Books Digital Came... Electronics Flights Games, Conso... Household Ap... Mobiles, Pho... Music Shopping 4 B... Travel  TOP FILMS Donnie Darko Lara Croft - Tomb Raider 2: The Cradle Of Life Kill Bill - Vol. 1 Lord Of The Rings, The: The Fellowship Of The Ring ... more top films >  TOP ACTORS Ian McKellen Elijah Wood Patrick Swayze Viggo Mortensen ... more top actors >  TOP DIRECTORS Peter Jackson Richard Kelly Jan De Bont Quentin Tarantino ... C Chuck Norris Browse by actor : Chuck Norris (1-17 of 17) Title: Way Of The Dragon, The Actor(s): Chuck Norris Bruce Lee Nora Miao Robert Wall Director(s): Bruce Lee A man visits family in Italy and finds himself defending his own kind when they are attacked by the mafia. more Title: President's Man, The Actor(s): Chuck Norris Dylan Neal Director(s): Michael Preece Eric Norris A secret agent looks for a replacement to take over a dangerous mission. more Title: Logan's War Actor(s): Jeff Kober Joe Spano Chuck Norris Eddie Cibrian Director(s): Michael Preece Logan's family is wiped out by a gang and he plots revenge...

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April 6, 2003 War-Speak Worthy of Milton and Chuck Norris By GEOFFREY NUNBERG HE first casualty when war comes is truth." With due respect to Hiram Johnson, the Progressive senator who made that famous remark in 1917, the first casualty of war is less often the truth itself than the way we tell it. Coloring the facts is always simpler and more effective than falsifying them. The modern language of war emerged in the Victorian age, when military planners first became concerned about public opinion. One linguistic casualty of that period was "casualty" itself, a word for an accidental loss that became a euphemism for dead and wounded around the time of the Crimean War, in the mid-19th century, the conflict that gave birth to the war correspondent. In part, that is simply a reaction to the jumble of images and reports we've been subjected to, and of the need to make sense of them. Last week, Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld complained that the abruptly shifting impressions of the war's progress were due to viewers seeing "every second another slice of what's actually happening over there." He waxed nostalgic for World War II newsreels that wrapped the week's war highlights in a stirring narrative. That was the tail end of a purple thread that ran back to those Crimean dispatches about gallant British troops pouring fire on the terrible enemy. The effusive metaphors of the newsreels were already shopworn in 1969, when Mr. Rumsfeld joined President Richard M. Nixon's cabinet, and war reports had to be tailored to an increasingly skeptical and knowing public.

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TVNow presents Chuck Norris On TV May 27 thru June 30 Eastern Time Zone Used The Delta Force 120 minutes- USA, 1986, Premiere, (CC), Video, SS, In Stereo Directed by Menahem Golan and starring Lee Marvin, Chuck Norris, Lainie Kazan Shelley Winters, Martin Balsam, Joey Bishop Robert Forester, George Kennedy, Susan Strasberg, Hanna Schygulla An elite anti-terrorist squadron is called into action after Arab gunmen skyjack an American jet en route to Rome. Sat Jun 19 05:00P on Spike TV Firewalker 105 minutes- PG, USA, 1986, (CC), Video, SS, In Stereo, Adult language, violence Directed by J. Lee Thompson and starring Chuck Norris, Louis Gossett Jr, Melody Anderson John Rhys-Davies, Will Sampson, Sonny Landham Zaide Silvia Gutierrez Two soldiers of fortune head to Central America in search of a priceless Aztec treasure. Sat May 29 06:30A on HBO Plus Hellbound 105 minutes- R, USA/Can./Israel, 1993, Video, In Stereo Directed by Aaron Norris and starring Chuck Norris, Calvin Levels, Christopher Neame Sheree J. Wilson, David Robb, Cherie Franklin

71. Chuck Norris - Box Office Data Movie Star chuck norris Box office data, movie news, film analysis, cast, director, posters, books. Click Here. chuck norris. Buy Posters and Prints at AllPosters.com! http://www.the-numbers.com/people/0CNOR.html

Search Site Movies News People News Latest News Coming Soon Theater Count Oscars The Movies Daily Chart Weekend Chart Chart Archive Movie Archive ... Posters International World Chart News Records The People Star Archive Records Directors Popular The Speculation HSX Analysis The Site Forums Site Map Links Site Secrets ... Buy Posters at AllPosters.com Sunday, May 23, 2004 Chuck Norris Buy Posters and Prints at AllPosters.com! The Numbers Links Acted in the television series Walker, Texas Ranger as Ranger Cordell Walker Famous as Athlete before acting: Karate Often acts in movies directed by Aaron Norris External Links Celebrity-Link Chuck Norris at Celebrity Link EntertainGuide.com Pictures, image gallery, wallpapers, screensavers, desktop themes, and bio IMDB Biography, full filmography etc. Appearances Released Movie Name Role 1st weekend US Gross Worldwide Gross Top Dog Jake Wilder Sidekicks Himself Hitman, The Cliff Garret/Danny Grogan Delta Force 2 Scott McCoy Braddock: Missing in Action III Col. James Braddock Hero and the Terror Danny O'Brien Firewalker Max Donigan Delta Force, The

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zJs=10 zJs=11 zJs=12 zJs=13 zc(5,'jsc',zJs,9999999,'') About Teens TV / Movies for Teens Home ... Spoiler Central zau(256,152,145,'gob','http://z.about.com/5/ad/go.htm?gs='+gs,''); Acting Resources Celebrities TV Resources A - Z Movies A - Z ... Help zau(256,138,125,'el','http://z.about.com/0/ip/417/0.htm','');w(xb+xb); Stay Current Subscribe to the About TV / Movies for Teens newsletter. Search TV / Movies for Teens CELEBRITY LOOK-A-LIKES Celebrity: Chuck Norris ( Walker, Texas Ranger Ray VOTE NOW! CELEBRITY LOOK-A-LIKES From Rachel Thomas Your Guide to TV / Movies for Teens Sign up for my Newsletter RATE THIS ARTICLE Would you recommend this article? Not at all Definitely Most Popular Auditions/Casting Calls! American Idol 3 - Fantasia Barrino American Idol Casting Call! Benjamin McKenzie - Ryan on The O.C. ... Adam Brody - Seth on The O.C. What's Hot American Idol 3 - Fantasia Barrino Buffy, the Vampire Slayer Character Profiles - James Marster... Casting Call - Male Singer Needed for Tran Continental Recor... American Idol Finalist - George Huff ... User Agreement

73. ×àê Íîððèñ (Chuck Norris) The summary for this Russian page contains characters that cannot be correctly displayed in this language/character set. http://www.peoples.ru/art/cinema/actor/norris/

a a b c ... z English German French Beartrap - Security Appliance SmartFunction.com - Dedicated Web Hosting SmartForex.com - Currency Trading (Forex) Cåìèêðàòíûé ÷åìïèîí ìèðà ñðåäè ïðîôåññèîíàëîâ êàðàòý, êèíîçâåçäà îëëèâóäà.  1996 ãîäó îí îòêðûë â Ìîñêâå ñîáñòâåííûé êëóá ïîä íàçâàíèåì Chuck Norris Enterprise Club Beverly Hills. ×àê Íîððèñ ñòàë ñîçäàòåëåì áîëüøîãî êîëè÷åñòâà òåëåâèçèîííûõ øîó, ïîìèìî ýòîãî îí èçäàåò ñâîé æóðíàë, íàïèñàë 7 êíèã. Íåäàâíî ðåøèë çàíÿòüñÿ ïîèñêîì è "ðàñêðóòêîé" ìîëîäûõ òàëàíòîâ èç Ðîññèè, ïðè÷åì íå òîëüêî ïîòåíöèàëüíûõ ñóïåð ìîäåëåé, íî è êèíîàêòðèñ, ýñòðàäíûõ ïåâèö, âåäóùèõ øîó-ïðîãðàìì. Ïîáåäèòåëüíèö â êîíêóðñàõ è íà ïðîáàõ æäåò íàãðàäà - ïîåçäêà â îëëèâóä è ó÷àñòèå â ôèëüìàõ ×àêà Íîððèñà. Íåïëîõîé ïîäàðîê, âåäü òàê?  1977 ãîäó îí âåðíóëñÿ â êèíî, ñûãðàë ðîëü â áîåâèêå "Ðàçðóøèòåëü" è âñêîðå ñòàë çâåçäîé ôèëüìîâ ôèðìû Cannon Pictures.  íà÷àëå 90-õ ýòà ôèðìà ðàçîðèëàñü, íî ×àê ïðîäîëæàë ñíèìàòüñÿ.  1993 ãîäó òåëåêàíàë CBS ïðåäëîæèë åìó ñûãðàòü ðîëü òåõàññêîãî ðåéíäæåðà Óîêåðà, è àêòåð íà ýòî ñîãëàñèëñÿ. Îí òàêæå ñíèìàëñÿ â ôèëüìàõ: "Êîäåêñ ìîë÷àíèÿ", "Âòîðæåíèå â ÑØÀ", "Ïðîïàâøèå áåç âåñòè".  1996 ãîäó îí îòêðûë â Ìîñêâå ñîáñòâåííûé êëóá ïîä íàçâàíèåì Chuck Norris Enterprise Club Beverly Hills.  ýòîì çàâåäåíèè íàõîäèòñÿ êàáàðå, êàçèíî è ðåñòîðàí. Êëóá ðàñïîëîæèëñÿ â áûâøåì ñòîëè÷íîì êëóáå "Æàð-ïòèöà", ñîâëàäåëüöåì êîòîðîãî îí ñòàë â 1995 ãîäó. Êðîìå êëóáà â Ðîññèè ó ×àêà åñòü ñâîå êàçèíî â Ëàñ-Âåãàñå.

74. Chuck Norris chuck norris. chuck norris OVERVIEW, Get $5 off $24.99 purchases Use coupon code CEVPDU-U9U -526-924. chuck norris. 8 Poster(s). BROWSE. POSTER SEARCH. http://www.rottentomatoes.com/p/ChuckNorris-1011503/

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75. Superstars Of Action - Chuck Norris (1995): Chuck Norris SUPERSTARS OF ACTION chuck norris (1995) reviews from the nation s top critics and audiences. Superstars of action - chuck norris (1995). http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/SuperstarsofactionChuckNorris-1086073/

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76. Chuck Norris - Actor, Martial Arts chuck norris Learn More About chuck norris People whine, I haven t succeeded because I haven t had the breaks. You create your own breaks. http://www.quotemeonit.com/norrisc.html

Chuck Norris Learn More About Chuck Norris People whine, 'I haven't succeeded because I haven't had the breaks.' You create your own breaks. Violence is my last option. The 3 key components for success are as follows: 1) Psychological Preparedness 2) Physical Conditioning 3) Mental Toughness If you want to accomplish anything in life, you can't just sit back and hope it will happen. You've got to make it happen. I'm a very patriotic guy. I give a lot of speeches to kids as part of my Kick Drugs Out of America program and tell them how lucky they are to be raised in this country. You can start at the bottom - just as I did in a poor, single-parent family on welfare - and, with work and sacrifice, be successful. Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth. The philosophy of the martial arts makes kids goal-oriented and makes them feel like they have self-worth. It's been proven. I've seen it myself.

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Feedback Main Menu Help Advertise ... Actors/Actresses : Chuck Norris Search Help C L A I M T O F A M E Martial arts star playing title character in "Walker, Texas Ranger" B I O D A T A Birth Date: March 10, 1940 in Ryan, Oklahoma, USA Birth Name: Carlos Ray Norris Trivia: World Middleweight Karate Champion for seven years M E R C H A N D I S E Buy this star's films today at Amazon.com! C R E D I T S "Walker, Texas Ranger" (1993) - TV Series (actor, producer) O F F I C I A L S I T E S Chuck Norris Official Website Norris Racing Team Sony's Walker, Texas Ranger Page F A N S I T E S The Unofficial Chuck Norris Web Page Chuck Norris P R O F E S S I O N A L R E S O U R C E S E! Online - Sun Sets on "Walker" - January 8, 2001 IMDb - Filmography IMDb - Bio Mr Showbiz Profile N E W S G R O U P S alt.fan.actors rec.arts.movies.people R E L A T E D L I N K S Kick Drugs Out of America Home Page Search the Internet! Amazon.com DejaNews Ask Jeeves Britannica.com ... Yahoo Please Visit Our Sponsors! ContactAnyCelebrity.com AllPosters.com 21st Century Auto Insurance iPowerWeb Hosting

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Home C Choose a Chuck Norris Game Mixed All the pieces are mixed. Create the original image by repeatedly swapping two pieces. Falling Colors Find groups of blocks and remove them. Receive bonus points by removing large groups of blocks. Reflex Test Test your response time! 15-Puzzle All the pieces are shuffled, can you create the original image again? Chuck Norris Date of Birth March 10, 1940 Nationality American Buy Chuck Norris Movies Posters Contact Info Autographs Find Chuck Norris Images Links Auctions Fan Mail Address Chuck Norris fun Do a Love Match Other games Concentrate Concentrate and match the photos. CelebrityGram The celebrity name is scrambled, guess the name ASAP! MindMania Memorize the sequence of celebrity photos and repeat it. Celebrity Shop Feedback Webmasters Celebrity photos provided in association with art.com NetVision

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