81. Moral Stories Set 6 A wonderful Message by george carlin The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider http://www.emmitsburg.net/humor/archives/insperational/moral_6.htm

My Little Sister's Jokes Inspirational Stories List Set: Help us build our joke and story bank. E-mail us at: humor@emmitsburg.net There's a woman who lives by a three-word philosophy: "Seize the moment." Just possibly, she may be the wisest woman on this planet. Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine. I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible. How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word "refrigeration" mean nothing to you? How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched Jeopardy! on television? I cannot count the times I called my sister and said, "How about going to

82. Anecdote - George Dennis Carlin - George %&#$! Carlin box, carlin once remarked, but you can t say twat carlin, george Dennis (1938 ) American comedian, Comedy Hall of Fame (1994) noted for such works as http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=6271

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85. Carlinintro Introduction to Murder At the Conspiracy Convention by george carlin Funnier than Danny Kaye, more powerful than Jerry Lewis, as important as acid. http://www.paulkrassner.com/carlinintro.htm

Introduction to Murder At the Conspiracy Convention by George Carlin Funnier than Danny Kaye, more powerful than Jerry Lewis, as important as acid. That was Paul Krassner to me during the 1960s. I'll explain. As America entered the Magic Decade, I was leading a double life. I had been a rule-bender and law-breaker since first grade. A highly developed disregard for authority got me kicked out of three schools, the altar boys, the police or the government, and I didn't like bosses of any kind. I had become a pot smoker at 13 (1950), an unheard-of act in an old-fashioned Irish neighborhood. It managed to get me through my teens. But my career goals had a different flavor. From the earliest age, I had wanted to be a comedianlike Danny Kaye or Jerry Lewis. It was an understandable goal for someone who didn't quite fit in, but it was a decidedly mainstream dream. To get ahead, it required playing by the rules and pleasing the public, mostly on their own terms. So that's what I did. My affection for pot continued and my disregard for standard values increased, but they lagged behind my need to succeed.

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Carlin Corner The wisdom of George Carlin, Patron Saint of Total Obscurity Things to Watch Out For Carlin's small reminder of some of the negative, depressing, dangerous, life-threatening things that life is really all about. anal rape quicksand body lice evil spirits gridlock acid rain continental drift labor violence flash floods rabies torture bad luck calcium deficiency falling rocks cattle stampedes bank failure evil neighbors killer bees organ rejection lynching toxic waste unstable dynamite religious fanatics prickly heat price fixing moral decay hotel fires loss of face stink bombs bubonic plague neo-Nazis friction cereal weevils failure of will chain reactions soil erosion mail fraud dry rot voodoo curses broken glass snake bites parasites white slavery public ridicule faithless friends random violence breach of contract family scandals charlatans transverse militias structural defects race riots sun spots rogue elephants wax buildup killer frost jealous coworkers root canals mental fatigue corporal punishment sneak attacks peer pressure vigilantes birth defects false advertising ungrateful children financial ruin mildew loss of priveleges bad drugs ill-fitting shoes widespread chaos stray bullets runaway trains chemical spills locusts airline food shipwrecks prowlers bathtub accidents faulty merchandise terrorism discrimination wrongful cremation carbon deposits beef tapeworms taxation without representation escaped maniacs sunburn abandonment threatening letters entropy nine-mile fever poor workmanship

88. The George Carlin Show (a Titles And Air Dates Guide) A guide listing the title and air date for each episode of the TV series The george carlin Show. epguides.com presents The george carlin Show. http://epguides.com/GeorgeCarlinShow/

The George Carlin Show by George Fergus Last updated: Tue, 14 Oct 2003 20:00 aired from: Jan 1994 to: Jul 1995 25 eps FOX 30 min stereo closed captioned George Carlin as George O'Grady Alex Rocco as Harry Rossetti Susan Sullivan as Kathleen Rachowski Paige French as Sydney Anthony Starke as Jack Donahue Michael G. Hagerty as Frank Christopher Rich as Dr. Neil Beck Matt Landers as Larry Pinkerton 1st Season Winter 1994 1- 1 16 Jan 94 When Unexpected Things Happen to George 1- 2 23 Jan 94 George Sees an Airplane 1- 3 6 Feb 94 George Goes on a Date (1) 1- 4 13 Feb 94 George Goes on a Date (2) 1- 5 20 Feb 94 George Helps Sidney 1- 6 27 Feb 94 George Expresses Himself 1- 7 6 Mar 94 George Gets Some Money 1- 8 20 Mar 94 George Destroys a Way of Life 1- 9 27 Mar 94 George Loses His Thermos 1-10 24 Apr 94 George Speaks His Mind 1-11 1 May 94 George Looks Down the Wrong End of a Thirty-Eight 1-12 8 May 94 George Plays a Mean Pinball 1-13 15 May 94 George Lifts the Holy Spirit 2nd Season 1994 2- 1 16 Oct 94 George Gets a Big Surprise 2- 2 23 Oct 94 George Runs into an Old Friend 2- 3 30 Oct 94 George Goes Too Far 2- 4 6 Nov 94 George Gets Hoist By His Own Petard 2- 5 13 Nov 94 George Pulls the Plug 2- 6 27 Nov 94 George Gets Caught in the Middle

89. Comedy/Novelty Artists A-Z: George Carlin Comedy/Novelty Artists AZ george carlin. george carlin Sometimes a Little Brain Damage Can Help george carlin / Published 1984 Click The Picture To Purchase http://www.davesfunstuff.com/funnycity/carlin-george.htm

Comedy/Novelty Artists A-Z: George Carlin davesfunstuff Comedy Albums DFSX Radio Please be sure to E-mail Me Albums to help me fill up this section! If you have an album on Amazon, let me link it and help you sell it! Thank you. Albums and Books Playin' With Your Head George Carlin / Audio CD (July 30, 1986) Click The Picture To Purchase (explicit) Track Listings: 1. Hello, Goodbye 2. Love and Regards 3. Groups and Charities 4. Sports 5. Five Twos 6. Losing Things 7. You're Lost 8. Missing 9. Earrings 10. Battered Plants 11. Things to Watch Out For Complaints and Grievances George Carlin / Audio CD (December 11, 2001) Click The Picture To Purchase Track Listings: 1. The Opening 2. Traffic Accidents-Keep Movin'! 4. People Who Oughta Be Killed: Self-Help Books 5. Motivation Seminars 6. Parents Of Honor Students 7. Baby Slings 8. "My Daddy" 9. Telephone Mimes 10. Hands-Free Telephone Headsets 11. Answering Machines 12. Family Newsletters 13. Music On Answering Machines 14. People Who Wear Visors 15. Singers With One Name 16. Rich Guys In Hot Air Balloons

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95. Hip Online: Artists: George Carlin {george carlin links reviews}. george carlin is not amused. The Yes, America, YOU ARE ALL DISEASED. george carlin is the cure. In http://www.hiponline.com/artist/music/c/carlin_george/

ARTISTS: A B C D ... reviews George Carlin is not amused. The Eardrum/Atlantic companion album to the double Grammy Award-winning comic's eleventh HBO comedy concert, "YOU ARE ALL DISEASED" is a self-proclaimed "series of things that are pissing me off." Recorded live last February at New York City's Beacon Theater, the album finds Carlin at his hilarious, unrelenting best, spewing righteous outrage and mad comic genius at the idiocy and ridiculousness of the world we live in. Among the topics to inflame his ire: airport security, angels, children, germphobia, religion, tough guys, the House of Blues, television, singles bars, "urban" culture, and why a cigar isn't always just a cigar. Yes, America, "YOU ARE ALL DISEASED." George Carlin is the cure. In July 1956, a nineteen-year-old George Carlin began his professional career in radio at Shreveport, Louisiana's KJOE, while continuing his service in the U.S. Air Force. By 1959, he had started working at Boston's WEZE, a job which lasted all of three months. Carlin's next gig was the 7PM-to-midnight shift at KXOL in Fort Worth, Texas, where, together with newsman Jack Burns, he began developing comedy routines for a nightclub act. In 1960, the two headed west to become "The Wright Brothers," the morning DJs at Hollywood's KDAY. They left the radio game after three months, preferring to embark on a comedy career as "Burns and Carlin."

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vinyl bumper stickers from seatthole.com t shirt screen printing from seatthole.com t shirt screen printing from seatthole.com t shirt screen printing from seatthole.com George Carlin has a brand new box set out on WEA/Atlantic Records called The Little David Years 1971-1977 that features remastered versions of seven of his best albums, plus a bonus disc of unreleased material and childhood recordings. He also has a role in Kevin Smith's new film Dogma. Frank Meyer and Scott Chernoff have been writing together since the 4th grade. Since then, Scott has gone on to become the editor of Star Wars Insider, while Frank went on to become Music Editor of POPsmear and is now Managing Editor of KNAC.com . Hmmm, I guess some people never grow up. Darryl Redalieu is a dynamite photographer based in L.A. and we had big plans to use him again for other stuff but we can't because we're not printing any more issues. Ha ha ha, life is so funny we are laughing always. but Darryl will not have trouble finding large amounts of high-profile work, we're sure of that. Tell your friends about this article.

97. George Carlin Interview | July 2001 Issue Of The Progressive Magazine george carlin as political and social philosopher? Why not? george carlin Well, there are two reasons it s the title of the book. http://www.progressive.org/intv0701.html

George Carlin as political and social philosopher? Why not? One would be hard-pressed to find anyone who so consistently, for more than three decades now, has stood before the public, in venues both small and global, to tell so many dirty and ugly and hilarious truths about the way we Americans live. Or pretend to live. Carlin's arc has been impressive. From frat-boy radio shtick in the early '60s, to a clean-cut stand-up comic, to a doper-friendly hippie in the '70s, Carlin's persona has morphed again today into a curmudgeonly bad conscience for a society that he sees as ill with consumerism and self-satisfaction. Most famous for his routine "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television," Carlin has eighteen comedy albums to his name, four of them gold. He has performed eleven solo HBO comedy specials. His 1997 book, Brain Droppings (Hyperion), spent forty weeks on The New York Times bestsellers' list, and his new book, (Hyperion), is number one on that list today. Now at age sixty-four, Carlin is not so much a comedian as a performance artist who toils endlessly at his task. Performing several nights a week on the road, he spends months at a time carefully honing his new material that he will eventually use on HBO. I caught up with Carlin a couple of times over the last several months, and here are some excerpts.

98. George Carlin george carlin. Read a Sample. Advertisement. Advertisement. george carlin wanted to be Danny Kaye when he grew up. http://www.motherjones.com/arts/qa/1997/03/outspoken.html

Other ways to search for an article Current Issue Free MoJo Newsletters MoJournal Text HTML Must Reads ... Learn about paid content on MotherJones.com IN NEWS Public Information, Private Profit? IN COMMENTARY Closing a 40-Year Gap ARTS Taking Back the Dial George Carlin Carlin speaks up about what's wrong with Mickey Mouse, baby boomers, private property, and political activism. By Ricky Young March/April 1997 Issue Subscribe to Must Reads Today Each Friday, we gather the best of our Mother Jones Daily web-logs into a single listing of truly "must read" articles. Read a Sample Advertisement Advertisement G eorge Carlin wanted to be Danny Kaye when he grew up. Instead, his straight-arrow career was hijacked by the counterculture, and he became the angry voice of a generation. Today, he laments that generation's loss of idealism, but he does so driving a BMW and luxuriating in his private flotation tank, which he calls "Our Lady of Good Salt." After decades of misanthropic stand-up, Carlin promises that a newfound grace infuses his book Brain Droppings , which Hyperion is publishing this spring. "There's a surprising amount of innocence and sweetness in it," he says. And even though he excoriated Mickey Mouse when the "imaginary rodent's" 65th birthday became a news item, the comedian wants you to celebrate when he turns 60 in May.

99. George Carlin site at your event. george carlin. Comedian. george carlin began his comedy career over forty years ago. He and partner Jack http://www.lordly.com/talent/sei/CarlinGeorge.html

The strategic use of entertainment can motivate your employees, show your appreciation for customers and build relationships with current and potential stakeholders. After nearly a half-century of producing literally thousands of entertainment shows for corporate audiences worldwide, our experience provides us with the expertise to guide you in selecting the right performers to achieve your objectives. Once the choice is made, we'll take care of all the details and create a flawless production on site at your event. George Carlin Comedian George Carlin began his comedy career over forty years ago. He and partner Jack Burns went to Hollywood from Texas in 1960, working as morning DJs before quitting to work comedy clubs. Burns and Carlin worked together for two years, playing leading clubs, getting good press exposure and making a first appearance on The Tonight Show with Jack Paar They broke up in 1962 to pursue solo careers. Finding little success in clubs, Carlin branched out into coffee houses and folk clubs, where he found audiences more receptive to the style he felt capable of: mainstream material balanced with more outspoken routines that were closer to his heart. In 1965, he began to get more extensive TV exposure, with 58 appearances in two years, mostly on

100. BookCloseOuts.com Bargain Books - Book Store - Book Sale Topic Humor, Form Essays. Author carlin, george. Publisher Hyperion Books. ISBN 0786864133 ··· Hardcover ··· 269 pages. Qty Avail 100. http://www.bookcloseouts.com/bc/display.book.asp?isbn=0786864133

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