61. Baseball Almanac - George Carlin In Baseball And Football Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything s dying. george carlin. by george carlin. http://www.baseball-almanac.com/humor7.shtml

Support Baseball Almanac - Visit One Sponsor Each Visit Advertising Downloads Feedback Newsletter ... Year In Review Hear The Game! Carlin Monologue "Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying." - George Carlin O ne of the most famous stand-up baseball comedy routines was the following dialog by George Carlin. These simple words simply cannot do the dialogue justice, but it is still quite funny and we hope you enjoy his comparison of Baseball and Football Baseball and Football by George Carlin Baseball is different from any other sport, very different. For instance, in most sports you score points or goals; in baseball you score runs. In most sports the ball, or object, is put in play by the offensive team; in baseball the defensive team puts the ball in play, and only the defense is allowed to touch the ball. In fact, in baseball if an offensive player touches the ball intentionally, he's out; sometimes unintentionally, he's out. Also: in football,basketball, soccer, volleyball, and all sports played with a ball, you score with the ball and in baseball the ball prevents you from scoring.

62. George Carlin On Religion george carlin on religion. Thank you all very much. Joe Bless You! (Copyright 1999 by george carlin. Printed without permission.). back to texts list. http://www.objectivethought.com/atheism/carlin.html

George Carlin on religion When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time! But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit! But I want you to know something, this is sincere, I want you to know, when it comes to believing in God, I really tried. I really, really tried. I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up.

63. Footlight.com > Carlin, George carlin, george Viewing 113 of 13 results. 1. Back in Town carlin, george Audio CD, Price $11.95. 3. Evening With Wally Londo carlin, george Audio CD, http://www.footlight.com/artist.cfm?artist_id=6264&cat_id=5

64. Footlight.com > Carlin, George (7cd) Footlight Records, http://www.footlight.com/artist.cfm?artist_id=6265&cat_id=5

65. AudioFind - Usenet Newsgroup Index alt.binaries.sounds.mp3.comedy. (per req) carlin, george 1981 - A Place for My Stuff 11/18 - 11 - Ice Box Man.mp3 (~~/19), ~~/19, Starslayer, May 20. http://www.audiofind.com/alt.binaries.sounds.mp3.comedy&o=7

Help on Downloading back to the main page Most Recently Indexed Posts SEARCH: ... (1000) Pages Next » Usenet Newsgroups - Browse posts alt.binaries.sounds.mp3.comedy Subject Parts Author Date alt.binaries.sounds.mp3.comedy (As REQ: Richard Pryor - That Nigger Is Still Crazy—Good Shit From The Vaults] [09/20] - Richard Pryor - That Nigger Is Still Crazy—Goo Voodoo Grizzly May 27 (As REQ: Richard Pryor - That Nigger Is Still Crazy—Good Shit From The Vaults] [07/20] - Richard Pryor - That Nigger Is Still Crazy—Goo Voodoo Grizzly May 27 Allan Sherman on Ed Sullivan - PAR File 6 of 6: "Allan_Sherman_on_Ed_Sullivan.p05" yEnc (~~/16) First Last May 27 Allan Sherman on Ed Sullivan - PAR File 5 of 6: "Allan_Sherman_on_Ed_Sullivan.p04" yEnc (~~/16) First Last May 27 (As REQ: Richard Pryor - That Nigger Is Still Crazy—Good Shit From The Vaults] [06/20] - Richard Pryor - That Nigger Is Still Crazy—Goo Voodoo Grizzly May 27 (As REQ: Richard Pryor - That Nigger Is Still Crazy—Good Shit From The Vaults] [05/20] - Richard Pryor - That Nigger Is Still Crazy—Goo Voodoo Grizzly May 27 (As REQ: Richard Pryor - That Nigger Is Still Crazy—Good Shit From The Vaults] [04/20] - Richard Pryor - That Nigger Is Still Crazy—Goo Voodoo Grizzly May 27 Allan Sherman on Ed Sullivan - PAR File 4 of 6: "Allan_Sherman_on_Ed_Sullivan.p03" yEnc (~~/16)

66. CNN.com - George Carlin: Enjoying 'the freak Show' - Mar 29, 2004 Comedian george carlin was launched into the upper echelon of humorists in the 70s by uttering seven words seven dirty words, to be exact. george carlin. http://www.cnn.com/2004/SHOWBIZ/Movies/03/29/george.carlin/

International Edition MEMBER SERVICES The Web CNN.com Home Page World U.S. Weather ... Special Reports SERVICES Video E-mail Services CNNtoGO Contact Us SEARCH Web CNN.com George Carlin: Enjoying 'the freak show' By Stephanie Snipes CNN George Carlin Story Tools RELATED Kevin Smith stretches 'a little bit' George Carlin talks indecency YOUR E-MAIL ALERTS Kevin Smith George Carlin Comedy or Create your own Manage alerts What is this? (CNN) Comedian George Carlin was launched into the upper echelon of humorists in the '70s by uttering seven words seven dirty words, to be exact. At 67 he still tells it like it is, which keeps censors (and other folks in positions of power) on their toes. Carlin releases his third book, "When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?," this fall, and in 2005 his 13th HBO comedy special will air. In the new film "Jersey Girl," Carlin plays Bart Trinke, a father who helps raise his granddaughter after his widowed son (Ben Affleck) moves home. "Jersey Girl," directed by Kevin Smith, marks Carlin's biggest film role to date. Carlin sat down with CNN to discuss his career.

67. Dvd-a-day | Review George Carlin - George's Best Stuff DVD Directed by Various. Starring george carlin. Genre Standup Comedy. Reviewed by DVDinsdale. Buy this DVD george carlin - george s Best Stuff. Disc details. http://www.dvd-a-day.com/2003/carlin_best.html

Free trial weather alerts V-Store DVD BBC America Shop Free trial! CleanFilms.com ... Amazon CanadaDVD DVD Reviews dvd-a-day Home Today's Review Recent Reviews Review Archive ... Browse by Genre Search dvd-a-day.com dvd-a-day.com faq Please help support dvd-a-day.com George Carlin - George's Best Stuff Directed by Various Starring George Carlin Genre Stand-up Comedy Reviewed by DVDinsdale Bookmarks : Daily Review This Review (Right Click link then "add to favorites") Who,What,Where,When,Why? A greatest hits compilation from one of America's most beloved alternative stand-up comics. Nearly an hour and a half of George's best routines culled from two decades of cable TV broadcasts. See George when he had a full head of hair and before he became so angry. Fans will need this while casual viewers and newcomers can get an idea of what all the fuss is about - when George is on he's just about the funniest guy on the planet. The disc includes such familiar and beloved routines as the infamous "Seven Words You Can't Say on Television"

68. Carlin, George george carlin OSCAR • GLOBE • SATELLITE • GUILD • FENNECUS • APEX. george carlin OSCAR • GLOBE • SATELLITE • GUILD • FENNECUS • APEX. http://awards.fennec.org/c/carlin_george.html

George Carlin OSCAR GLOBE SATELLITE GUILD ... APEX No Nominations George Carlin OSCAR GLOBE SATELLITE GUILD ... APEX No Nominations George Carlin OSCAR GLOBE SATELLITE GUILD ... APEX No Nominations George Carlin OSCAR GLOBE SATELLITE GUILD ... APEX No Nominations George Carlin OSCAR GLOBE SATELLITE GUILD ... APEX Actor In A Cameo Role The Prince Of Tides George Carlin OSCAR GLOBE SATELLITE GUILD ... APEX No Nominations

69. George Carlin's Seven Dirty Words george carlin s Seven Dirty Words. The big seven words you weren t allowed to broadcast were Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker and Tits. http://www.erenkrantz.com/Humor/SevenDirtyWords.shtml

Justin R. Erenkrantz Where do you want to go today? Stay where I am ArtsCore Geeks Humor Life Links Music News Speeches Words George Carlin's Seven Dirty Words The big seven words you weren't allowed to broadcast were: Shit Piss Fuck Cunt Cocksucker Motherfucker and Tits Here is the original Carlin comedy routine that caused the Fracas. "I love words. I thank you for hearing my words. I want to tell you something about words that I uh, I think is important. I love..as I say, they're my work, they're my play, they're my passion. Words are all we have really. We have thoughts, but thoughts are fluid. You know, [humming]. And, then we assign a word to a thought, [clicks tongue]. And we're stuck with that word for that thought. So be careful with words. I like to think, yeah, the same words that hurt can heal. It's a matter of how you pick them. There are some people that aren't into all the words. There are some people who would have you not use certain words. Yeah, there are 400,000 words in the English language, and there are seven of them that you can't say on television. What a ratio that is. 399,993 to seven. They must really be bad. They'd have to be outrageous, to be separated from a group that large. All of you over here, you seven. Bad words. That's what they told us they were, remember? 'That's a bad word.' 'Awwww.' There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad Intentions. And words, you know the seven don't you? Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, and Tits, huh? Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that will infect your soul, curve your spine and keep the country from winning the war.

70. Positive Atheism's Big List Of George Carlin Quotations Positive Atheism s Big List of george carlin Quotations. george carlin (b. 1937) Satirical comic; freespeech activist. - george carlin, Brain Droppings. http://www.positiveatheism.org/hist/quotes/carlin.htm

Positive Atheism's Big List of George Carlin Quotations No-Frames Quotes Index Load This File With Frames Index Home to Positive Atheism George Carlin (b. 1937) Satirical comic; free-speech activist I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood. George Carlin attributed: source unknown I credit that eight years of grammar school with nourishing me in a direction where I could trust myself and trust my instincts. They gave me the tools to reject my faith. They taught me to question and think for myself and to believe in my instincts to such an extent that I just said, "This is a wonderful fairy tale they have going here, but it's not for me." George Carlin , in the New York Times, August 20, 1995 If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. George Carlin attributed: source unknown Religion If this [word] offends you, welcome to the world of sane and realistic critical thought. More harm has been done to the collective human psyche by religion than by all the fucking and cocksucking since the dawn of time. By the way, many religious people (including the ordained) fuck and suck each other's cocks all the time. George Carlin , from the language warning sequence introducing the his website, www.geogrecarlin.com

71. Compare Prices And Read Reviews On Carlin, George Videos & DVDs At Epinions.com Epinions has the best comparison shopping information on carlin, george Videos DVDs. We found 34 results for carlin, george Videos DVDs. http://www.epinions.com/Movies-George_Carlin_actor

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72. DVD > Carlin, George: Preise Und Angebote Bei Idealo carlin, george, DVD-STARTSEITE. WEBSUCHE. DVD. carlin, george-DVDs bei, http://www.dvd-idealo.de/25514R10K0-Carlin-George.html

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74. Salon.com Arts & Entertainment | Dirty Old Man Dirty old man george carlin on obscenity in the age of Ashcroft. - - - By Charles Taylor. http://www.salon.com/ent/feature/2004/04/03/carlin/

Click Here Search Salon Directory Hot Topics The Fix Heather Havrilesky on TV What We're Listening To Clear Channel ... Movie Reviews Articles by date All of Salon.com By department Opinion Books ... Table Talk [Spirited Salon forums] Best in show: The films of Christopher Guest./a> How scary IS "Stage Parents"? Posts of the week The Well [Pioneering members-only discussions] Surviving the Stoned Age Sound Off Letter to the Editor Salon Blogs NYC: Joyce Maynard lecture New Orleans: Ken Foster lecture SF: Joyce Maynard lecture L.A.: Joyce Maynard lecture Austin: Neal Pollack satire lecture Suggest a city or class Best submissions Subscribe Gift Subscriptions ... Investor Relations Dirty old man George Carlin on obscenity in the age of Ashcroft. By Charles Taylor Anybody who's ever listened to George Carlin parse some absurdity of the language knows the man is a word freak. In conversation, he talks about coming from a verbal family and the need for the self-educated to prove they are as smart as the folks who actually went to college. The mere suggestion of a topic is enough to set Carlin off on monologues. But instead of feeling you're in the presence of a man who's showing off, you feel that you're listening to someone who is in love with words, with teasing out the illogic in behavior and received wisdom. In Kevin Smith's "Jersey Girl,"

75. HBO.com Events George Carlin Complaints And Grievances Live! Reigning standup champ george carlin returns to HBO for his record twelfth stand-up special when he stars in george carlin COMPLAINTS AND GRIEVANCES, an all http://www.hbo.com/carlin/

76. Mobipocket.com - EBooks For Your PDA And Smartphone, Palm PocketPC Symbian Alert me when new carlin, george titles are added. carlin, george. New Arrivals. Napalm Silly Putty by carlin, george $15.95 Few http://www.mobipocket.com/en/eBooks/AuthorDetails.asp?AuthorID=6214

77. Laugh.Com Comic Page -- George Carlin Free Electronic Greeting cards from george carlin, free Flash cartoons, funny news and the best comedy CD s at the best prices. george carlin. http://www.laugh.com/main_pages/comicpage.asp?cid=3

78. Laugh.Com E-Cards Free Electronic Greeting cards from george carlin, free Flash cartoons, funny news and the best comedy CD s at the best prices. http://www.laugh.com/main_pages/ecards.asp

George Carlin Milton Berle Red Buttons Jonathan Winters ... Phil Hartman Our Favorites [Select Comedian] Abbate, Andrea Adams, Don Addotta, Kip Alazraqui, Carlos Allen , Woody Allen, Steve Amazing Jonathan, Amsterdam, Morey Anderson, Louie Arieff, Rachel Askew, Don Atkinson, Rowan Attell, Dave Balan, Michele Barbutti, Pete Barcena, Willie Barker, Arj Barry, Dave Barth, Belle Baum, Bruce Belushi, John Belzer, Richard

79. George Carlin - TV Tome TV Tome is your guide to george carlin. Biography, roles and appearances, gossip and more. Click Here. george carlin. • Biographical http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/PersonDetail/personid-3653

George Carlin Get addresses for over celebrities with Contact Any Celebrity Links to related web sites about this person :: IMDb Info Biographical Information Birthday: May 12, 1937 Birth Place: Morningside Heights (Upper Manhattan), New York Birth Name: George Dennis Carlin Notes Official website: http://www.georgecarlin.com Voted Comedy Central's number 2 comedian of all time News Crew Credits The George Carlin Show (1994) - Writer The George Carlin Show (1994) - Executive Producer Movie Credits (2001) - Writer You Are All Diseased (1999) - Writer George Carlin: Back in Town (1996) - Writer George Carlin: Jammin' in New York (1992) - Writer George Carlin: Doin' It Again (1990) - Writer What Am I Doing in New Jersey? (1988) - Writer George Carlin: Carlin on Campus (1984) - Writer George Carlin: Carlin on Campus (1984) - Music Carlin at Carnegie (1983) - Writer George Carlin Again! (1978) - Writer On Location with George Carlin (1977) - Writer More Info Acting Appearances Starring Roles The George Carlin Show (1994) - George O'Grady (1990) - the voice of Rufus [ 1 ] Shining Time Station (1989) - Mr. Conductor (1991-1993)

80. Carlin, George C Carlin, George Actors & Actresses DVD Movies Online Shopping St carlin, george C carlin, george Actors Actresses DVD Movies Online Shopping Store An Online Shopping Mall and directory arranged in a variety of categories. http://www.plaza101.com/plaza/store/shop19732/Online/Carlin_George/

Home Electronics Electronics Brands Camera ... Toys 201 Shoppers Online 3/4 Size Adventure Medical Binding Parts Books ... Rings Browse Shop By Merchant AAAFruitbaskets AaronsBabyBaskets ABaby.com AbtElectronics AceHardware ACLens ACT ActivaSports Adagio Alexblake AllWineBaskets AllworthPress Altrec ARTinaClick AtlantaFalcons ATrendyhome Audible.com AuditionsShoes AutoAnything AutoBarn B A Mason BabyAge BabyBazaar BabyUniverse BackcountryStore BackInTheSaddle BallyStore BareNecessities BassProShops BathandBody BayberryGifts BBCAmericaShop BeckerSurf Bellacor BetterHomesandGardens BigFitness.net BizChair Blades Blair Bloomingbulb Bluefly BlueNile BoatersWorld BodyTrends BonsaiBoy Boscovs Bose Brecks Broderbund BrooksBrothers BrookStone BuyCostumes Cabelas Cameraworld CandleBay CandleMart CandlesJustOnline CarToys CellPhoneShop ChampionCatalog CheaperThanDirt Chefs CitySports ClassicCloseouts ColdwaterCreek CollectiblesToday CollegiateMall CompactAppliance CompuExpert ComputerGeeks Cooking.com CornerHardware CosmeticMall Countdown Creations CreativeLabs CrossingPointe CrucialTechnology CycleMallUSA Deal.com

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